GibCosta

My daughter found out her first husband was cheating on her with a co-worker in August 2007. She was devasted & started desperately searching for a boyfriend. She had a lot of failed attempts & then turned to the internet, where she met Brian on http://www.datehookup.com/User-33785190. htm in March. She instantly fell in love with him & he sent her an IM when he was drunk asking her to marry him, in the morning she asked if he remembered & he did & she said" YES! So he bought a ticket & left his life in NY & moved to CA in May 2008. If you look at his datehookup profile, he said he just recently returned home from Iraq, but he told my daughter he is on a prescription for a kidney problem he was born with, which he said the army didn’t know cuz they didn’t do a urine test. He also says he’s with the Irish Mafia. My daughter said he has a warrant in NY & wants to do community service in CA. I don’t want my daughter to rush into marriage until she has the facts, but how do I get the facts?
To urnotfoo… yes, the city & zip code on his datehookup profile is the only thing he did change. I keep asking her why he hasn’t changed his datehookup or MySpace profile & doesn’t mention her or have any pictures of her. He still has his NY cell phone & he still talks to other girls. He’s even added new friends from Sac & he moved to Sac for my daughter, at least that’s what she thinks… The whole thing is just highly suspicious. And to the person who said she is an adult & to just let her learn from her mistakes, this isn’t the first time she’s rushed into a relationship without listening to the family, I just don’t want to go through the drama again. The last guy robbed her & put her in debt & wouldn’t leave her alone until she gave him $500! My daughter wants to be in a relationship so desperately, sometimes I just want to give up, but I’m her Mom & it’s just hard to watch her keep making mistakes. She is naive, but she is stubborn & doesn’t listen. I need facts…

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I’m going to answer your question.

You can perform a background check, but a reliable service is going to cost you some money. The money you pay will be well worth it as far as helping your daughter is concerned.

Here is a Consumer’s Guide link that contains a list of recommended background check services:

http://www.consumers-guides.org/backgrou ndcheckreviews/2.htm?gclid=CKKEoZaX2ZQCF SQqagodJwkukQ

After the background check is complete, showing the results to your daughter does not guarantee that she’s going to instantly dump him. She might get defensive even after being confronted with evidence showing this guy is a loser.

Good luck with this situation and I pray that everything works out for you!

Lonny